Buh-bye to Whom?

I'll confess: Before I had to teach the difference between who and whom (and whoever and whomever--the differences are the same, by the way), I had a ... bit of a problem. My mother tried to help me when I was in high school, but that was not a good time for me to listen to Mom (I later learned what an idiot I'd been about that), but later on, having to teach the difference, I returned to Mom, who explained it to me so clearly--showed me so clearly--that I've never had a problem with it since.

Now, I have blogged here before about the difference (Oct. 26, 2016--here's a link to it), so I'll not repeat all of that.

But what got me thinking about it again is this: I read a lot of newer nonfiction books--not only to review for Kirkus Reviews (one a week) but also, well, just to read. And I've noticed in recent years that recent writers--and, of course, their editors and publishers--seem to be moving away from whom and whomever and just going with who and whoever.

I see constructions like this fairly frequently: She was the girl who I met back in middle school.

Now ... applying my trusty formula (see link to earlier blog), you would look at the entire clause that includes the who/whom choice (here, it's who/whom I met in middle school), and you determine what role that who/whom is playing only in its own clause. Ignore the rest of the sentence.

And here's where my mom's little trick helps: Replace who/whoever with he/she; replace whom/whomever with him/her.

So ... would you say Her I met back in middle school? Or She I met back in middle school? Sometimes it helps--as it does here--to move the word  in the clause: I met her back in middle school. So ... her is the obvious choice, so whom has to go there.

Simple, eh?

Anyway, one theory I'm considering here as I think about the evanescence of whom/whomever is that it sounds ... elitist. And in our resolutely egalitarian age, sounding elitist is a no-no.

And here's the odd thing: Perched atop my original post from 2016 is a cartoon that makes this exact point, and I'd entirely forgotten that cartoon until just now.

Anyway, in this era of whatever, whom/whomever is probably doomed.

I'm not all that upset about the language changing--it has always done that and always will (unless, like the Romans, we disappear, and our language dies with us). No, I guess what bothers me is the reason. This is a time when people--especially people in the public eye (politicians, etc.)--want to present an Everyman image and so are often reluctant to say that they have an advanced degree or went to a premier college or know the difference between who and whom.

So public figures tend to speak colloquially and keep their qualifications hidden. For the new synonym for educated is elitist.

And that, my friends, is pathetic, whoever/whomever (?) you are.*

Meanwhile, I will continue to observe the difference--and thank my mom, now 98, from who/whom I learned the distinction.


*I've also noticed, by the way, instances of what's called hypercorrection (using a less common word and thinking, by doing so, you are being more correct) with who/whom. I've heard people use whom incorrectly in a sentence in public because, I believe, they think it sounds ... better. More correct. It's like those uses of between you and I when the correct grammatical construction is between you and me.