Right then I made several
decisions.
• I would never let Gil know what I
had learned—and I would make sure no one else ever learned about it, either.
• I would work as hard as I could
to make sure that Gil got to see Niagara Falls.
• I would spend as much time as I
could with him. Starting now and lasting until … well, until he didn’t want me to.
Father was sitting alone in his
study later that night. He was in his usual reading chair—a big stuffed
comfortable wing-back that we’d found in a Goodwill store after the tornado had
destroyed most of our furniture. The chair was so comfortable that I sometimes
found Father asleep in it, an open book in his lap—or lying on the floor beside
him, its covers spread like the wings of a fallen bird.
Although he had a book open in his
lap, he was not asleep this time. He was staring at his bookshelves.
“Father?”
His eyes drifted over to me. “Vickie.”
His eyes were wet. “You’re feeling better?”
“I’ll never feel better.”
He smiled, but I could see his eyes
mist even more. “No,” he said, “I don’t suppose you ever will.”
I slumped into a chair across the
room from him. “Did you want to talk?” he asked.
“Not really,” I said. “I just
wanted to ask you a favor.”
“I think I know what it is.”
“You do?”
“Sure,” he said. “You want to ask
me not to run that article about … about Gil.”
“That’s right.”
“Well, I’ve already decided not
to,” he said. “My instincts as a journalist tell me that I should print the
story …”
“But you decided not to.”
“Yes,” he said. “I made a serious
mistake.”
“You did?”
“Yes. I imagined what it would feel
like to have that story written about my
family. Journalists shouldn’t do that,
you know—put themselves in the place of the people they’re writing about.”
He looked over at me and went on. “But
I did. I wondered what it would feel like to read in the newspaper about my own dying child.”
“Gil’s not going to die!” I cried,
leaping to my feet. “Don’t you ever
say he’s going to die!” And I ran from the room. Somewhere, I’m sure, Death was
laughing.
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