Woozy, Woozy

BODY: Let's fall down now.
BRAIN: I don't think that's--
BODY: Who cares what you think?
[I slump to the floor.]

Had an adventure this week. At the health club, I was doing my usual routines: stationary bike for 20 minutes, walk a mile of laps, rowing machine for 100 pulls, two sets of curls .... But when I finished my trip-to-Nowhere on the bike and stood up, I felt ... woozy. A perfect word. (A fairly recent--1897--Americanism, says the OED. Merriam-Webster's adds that's it's probably a transformation from oozy.)

So, oozy/woozy I stood for a moment, quickly realizing there was no way I was going to walk a mile--or do the other things.

I found a chair. Sat. Tried to stabilize. Felt a little better. Headed down to the locker room--slowly, slowly, slowly. Undressed for a shower. Realized, in the stall, that this was not going to work out well. Thought I'd do a quick rinse, get back to my locker, and sit.

BODY had other ideas. I turned the water off, and it was then that we had the brief conversation at the top of this post.

I realized pretty soon that I was on the floor. Spread out in a far-from-attractive pose. That I was barely coherent. A couple of naked guys walked by. Said and did nothing. Another naked guy said, "You all right?"

"I don't know."

He went for help, and soon there were three young trainers around me, all of whom stayed with me until they could help me up into a chair. They took several blood pressure readings--none of which was really out of whack. They got me talking about the Cavs and Indians, quickly realizing that my knowledge of both pretty much ended in the 1990s.

Oh, they also noticed that my left knee was bleeding, Got a band-aid, some antiseptic. Applied both.

I felt a little stronger, and they helped me back to my locker, where I s-l-o-w-l-y changed and tottered out to my car. I didn't call Joyce. Didn't want to alarm her.

Home (only a little over a mile away), I feigned competence until supper, at which time I confessed. And got the reaction I deserved. (Use your imagination.)

I have been very woozy lately--have to be very careful walking, making quick movements, standing, etc. I thought it was an alteration in my meds.

I called my family physician yesterday morning, and she got me in right away. Did a bunch of tests. Including an EKG, which showed a little abnormality.

So they scheduled me for a Stress-Echo next week.

And we will see what we will see.

Meanwhile, Sir Wooziness reigns. When I lie down, I'm fine. When I sit, I'm pretty fine.  When I stand and walk, I'm not fine for very long.

I'll keep you posted ...

But you may notice I'm not posting here every day--or on my other blog, Daily Doggerel. Sometimes, you see, BODY tells me I'd better lie down. And now. I've learned to listen to him. It's called "one-trial learning."